September 11

For all Americans, 9/11 is a day of extreme significance. For most though, it is a date signified by terror and sorrow. For Mark and me though, it is a day of very different meaning. One year ago today, our lives changed forever. After a very long and extremely painful year full of disappointment and tears, on 9/11 we finally received some good news. Prior to this we had endured 4 failed attempts at artificial insemination and one surgery and although it was not spoken, we both new that this attempt at in-vitro was our last shot at having a baby. The last year had drained us dry and there simply was no more to give, no more tears to cry. We wanted nothing more in this world than to have a baby, but up to this point there had been nothing but false hopes and devastating disappointment. The day before I had undergone the procedure to retrieve all of the eggs that had been building in my belly, ever so sore from bloating and a year of shots. Dr Jarret, who we have come to think of as nothing less than a miracle worker,was hoping to get half a dozen eggs but much to our surprise I had over achieved and they were able to get 15! Finally our luck appeared to be improving and then when on 9/11 they called to say that 13 of the 15 successfully fertilized we were ecstatic. After 2 days of growing in a petri dish, our little embryos were ready for implantation. Two days later then, 2 of our 13 embryos were transferred back into me and the waiting game began again as it had so many times before. This time felt different though. There was a new air of optimism in our lives and although we were still terrified of the lethal disappointment that we were potentially facing, we were further now than we ever had been and that alone was enough to carry us through those torturous weeks of waiting. The weeks past and finally the time came. And while that may have been the longest day of my life the call from the Dr finally came to say that, yes in fact, we were pregnant!

I know that babies change lives, and although her birth was definitely life altering, I think I speak for both of us when I say that 9/11/07 is easily as equally significant to us as is 4/25/08. It isn't often that a couple can pin point the exact moment when their baby was created, but then again nothing about our journey to today has been 'normal'. So while it may not have been until 4/25/08 that we were actually able to hold our precious sweet pea, it was on that day in September when she first changed our lives.

My angel is sleeping as I type this, which is good because I am a mess of tears brought on by a mixture of painful and happy memories. Never in my life have I felt as complete and completely happy. We knew that we wanted a baby, but not until that moment, could we have ever imagined just how much. The love we have for her is more than words could ever describe and the joy and fulfillment she provides is endless. The journey to today was not an easy one, but one that has made us who we are today and for that I wouldn't change a day of it.

So as we all reflect on the significance of 9/11, I propose that we think not only of the lives that were lost, but that we also consider the opportunity for a new beginning and that from our sufferings, we draw strength, because as Morgan is proof, we should never underestimate the power of perseverance and love.

Morgan, Mommy and Daddy love you to the moon and back again and celebrate today for creation of your life, for it is you that gives a greater meaning to who exactly we are as individuals and as a couple.


Our first picture of Morgan as nothing more than just a few, very important cells